so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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