do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
