i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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