I can tuck mytits in my pants
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I want to fling myself into the sun
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
