so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
