Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
