I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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