I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Drunk is a universal language darling
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
