how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
