Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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