"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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