Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I supernannyed him into submission
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
