Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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