So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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