I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
