3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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