Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we made out on top of his cat.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
