i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
