Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
