She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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