the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
