I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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