They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
