can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
