On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
