Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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