he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
