I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
