I want to walk on stilts...naked
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
