Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
