I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
