party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
