on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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