He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
