I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
