it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
