Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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