Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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