I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
