Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
