Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
