People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
