im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
