if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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