it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
