Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
