Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
