I'm laying in your front yard are you home
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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