I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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