People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
