I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
